Category: Dating

A Guide to Internet Dating for First Timers

When people first start communicating online for the first time it can be a bit daunting. If they are unsure of themselves or are having second thoughts, then it is important for them to realize that they are not alone. The good news is, it does get easier, and everything starts moving along more smoothly. To help first timers get more enjoyment out of the online dating experience there are some tips below.

Honesty in Online Dating

Honesty is the best policy, and this should be from the beginning. The profile is where honesty should start as there’s no point in fabricating the truth. Most lies will get discovered on the first date which will ruin any chances of starting a relationship. Being honest will mean that there is a greater chance of meeting someone straight away who is truly compatible.

Online Profile Photograph

A photo is a must for the profile, and will get up to twenty times more emails than those profiles without one. Most dating sites allow the uploading of photos and it is important to keep on the honesty theme by uploading a recent photo. It is important for people to not use one from ten years ago when they had more hair or a flatter tummy.

For people who don’t have one to upload, it may be prudent to just have a friend take one with a digital camera. Profiles with pictures are more likely to be viewed. A photo not only shows everyone what the person in the profile looks like, but it shows that he or she has nothing to hide.

Safety in Online Dating

Safety is key and this can be done by not sharing any personal information. It is important to never use a real name on a profile and online dating site users should be encouraged to always create eye-catching usernames. Also, avoid giving an address or personal information to anyone who may get in touch initially.

At some point, it is likely that internet daters will find someone that they will want to speak with on the phone. For safety, it would be best to use a cell phone until a bond has been built with the other person. Once the people get to know each other, it becomes possible to relax and reveal more personal information.

Having Fun and Being Nice With Online Dating

It is important to always be nice; this isn’t the elementary school playground. Some people won’t be so nice because of the anonymity of the internet. If people meet someone at an online dating service that isn’t pleasant, they can easily block them from ever contacting them again.

The important thing is to have fun when looking for love. Be honest, upload a recent photo and take safety precautions when dating online. Looking for that perfect match could take some time so it is important to enjoy the experience every day. It is unlikely that anyone will click with the first person they meet, but they should not let this discourage them from continuing on their love quest.

1752 Gregorian Calendar Date Change Leads to Dating Confusion

In 1746 contemporary documents recorded that the Hanoverian army camped a few hundred yards north of Brodie Castle and nearby Dyke village during the nights of the 2nd and 3rd of April. With few mature trees on the landscape of the time the camp fires were clearly visible from the castle and the village.

The Day of the Battle of Culloden

But local folk stayed away. Everybody was well aware that the final stand of the Jacobite challenge to the throne was looming and almost all people not involved with either army wanted to avoid becoming embroiled in a battle nearby or in the inevitable hideous aftermath. On April the 5th, after a night beside Nairn a few miles farther west the army, under the generalship of the 25 year old Duke of Cumberland, went on to win the Battle of Culloden.

Updating the Dates

Until not so long ago that is what British pupils learned. In today’s history books, however, the date of this last battle on British soil is considered to be April 16th. The dating conflict arises from a readjustment of dating which was imposed on some nations in 1752, six years after the battle. The calendar was advanced by ten days in order to ensure that the vernal or spring equinox fell on March 21st, as it should, so that Easter could be celebrated more nearly to its chosen lunar time of year.

1752 was also when the last diehard countries in Europe, which included England, adopted January 1st as New Year’s Day instead of March 1st. Most other countries had long since switched over to the calendar decreed for use throughout Christendom by Pope Gregory XIII in 1582, when an adjustment was made to correct an error in the Julian Calendar of ten days in the church seasonal holidays, the dates of which had lagged steadily farther behind the actuality.

‘Give us Back our Eleven Days’

Gregory’s decree was that October 4th 1572 be followed by October 15th, which is still used as New Year’s Day in the rare Lilian Calendar. When the common people were told they believed they were having eleven (by inclusive counting) days of their lives stolen and rioted in the streets across Europe demanding their return.

Even the removal of ten days was not exact, with eleven minutes and four seconds going adrift in each Julian year and many seconds more. To compensate, leap year days had been inserted, but not in century years unless divisible by four, all this in order to maintain a correct religious calendar. In effect Pope Gregory was readjusting the Christian Calendar which had slipped away from the Roman calendar instituted with slight inaccuracies by Julius Caesar in pre-Christian times.

After the second decree, historians and scholars disagreed about how to address the dates prior to 1752 in their documents. The matter was confused even more by the fact that Scotland had already changed over to the Gregorian Calendar in 1582. The Scottish dating of Culloden, if it had been adhered to, always had been the later date.

Time Lag in Instituting Change

Throughout much of the Victorian era, small annual registers were produced in many local areas. These contained a wealth of information fascinating to historians and researchers, everything from times of postal deliveries throughout a county, when coaches (and later trains) arrived or departed, ferry times and tide tables to local salaries of school teachers or ministers, cost of classes and lists of named parishioners on poor law benefits or those eligible to vote.

Dates of events such as feeing fairs and various town markets are particularly interesting. Until well on in the 19th century both pre- and post-Julian systems were still in use side by side, so that publishers were obliged to state whether the Old or the New Calendar was being used for their lists. This was the only way to ensure folk did not turn up eleven days too soon. Or was it too late?

Current Anomalies

It was well through the 20th century before it was finally accepted that dates should be calculated back from the calendar we use today. Usually. But even now not always. Several Eastern European cultures are still out of kilter with the West with both Christmas and Easter. Even today there are also a few historians who quibble about the dates between 1582 and 1752. Also, when calculating dates prior to the removal of New Year from March to January, care must be made to assign events in January and February to the right year.

Whatever the date of Culloden the day itself was bitterly cold with flurries of snow in the wind. It sapped the energy of the half-starved, exhausted Jacobites many of whom had gone blundering through the dark during the previous night, becoming lost while attempting a surprise attack on the enemy. They put up a brave and awesome fight, but were no match for disciplined troops who had made the most of their stay in Moray to rest and eat well.

How To Keep Online Dating Safe: What You Should Know Before Meeting an Internet Date

More and more people are trying out online dating sites to meet that special someone. It’s no longer embarrassing to answer, “So how did you meet?” by saying that you met on the internet. Internet dating has many benefits, but there are safety issues to consider, since the ‘net allows for greater anonymity and therefore, a greater chance that your date could be lying to you about who he or she really is.

Online Persona

Anyone who has heard about adult predators masquerading as 13-year-old boys in order to prey on impressionable youth knows that it’s easy to pretend to be someone you’re not online. To make sure that the 28-year-old stockbroker you’re talking to isn’t really a 45-year-old bus driver, keep an eye out for inconsistencies. If he tells you a detail of his life on Monday that drastically changes by Wednesday, feel free to call him on it. If you’re paying attention, you can usually weed out the liars fairly easily.

Dirty Talk

Unless you are looking specifically for an “intimate encounter” on a free chat line avoid talking about your sex life until after you meet your potential date in real life. If the person you’re interested in says that he or she is looking for a long-term relationship, but keeps asking for sexy pictures and talking dirty, there’s a good chance you’re not on the same page and you should move on to the next potential mate.

All in the Details

Before you meet potential dates, keep the specific details of your life to yourself. Do not give them your home address or tell them where you work. You can tell them what part of the city you live in or what you do for a living, but avoid saying, “I live on Maple Street” or “I work on the corner of 8th and Preston.” You may even want to hold off on giving your last name; at least until you’re relatively sure you can trust them.

Get All the Info You Can

While you want to be careful with sharing your own personal details, you should get as much information from the other person as possible. He or she may not want to share specific information either, but you should, at the very least, see pictures (more than one, to be sure it’s not some random image grabbed from the internet) and get the person’s phone number.

For women, this step may be more important. Since it is statistically more likely that he poses a threat to you than vice versa, you can insist on getting his full name and any other details that will make you feel more secure. You could also try Googling him to see what comes up, but don’t freak out if you find contradictory information; your town might have more than one John Smith.

For the Record

Never meet a stranger for a date without telling someone where you’re going. Write down his or her name, phone number and any other important details and leave them with your roommate, friend or co-worker. It may be a good idea to have a friend make a mid-date phone call to check if everything’s going okay.

Pick a Place

For your first meeting, pick a neutral, public place where you both feel comfortable. Don’t pick your favourite coffee shop or the bar at which you’re a regular. If the date goes awry, you don’t want to risk running into the person at a place you frequent. Do not get your date to pick you up. Make your own way to the meeting place and have a reliable way to get home.

Behave Yourself

While on the date, limit your drinking in order to stay sharp and watch your drink just like you would at the bar. Flirting is good, but avoid getting all touchy feely if you want your date to take you seriously for more than one night. Even if your internet match is perfect and the date is awesome, you should still resist the urge to invite him or her back to your place. Keep some mystery for the second date!

Write a Great Profile Headline: Compose an Attention-Getting Online Caption

Think of your Internet dating profile as an online billboard. Each piece of it is valuable real estate. The headline of your profile may seem like a minor thing, but remember – this piece of the Internet dating puzzle is often one that, along with your picture, will first attract someone to you.

Consider these points in mind when writing your headline:

  1. Keep it short. A three-to-seven word sentence is best. Anything longer and your headline will be cut off in a profile search. Think about a succinct but catchy phrase that will draw someone’s eye to your ad.
  2. Choose subject matter that conveys a bit of your personality and perhaps mentions hobbies or interests indicated in the essay part of your profile. This will not only draw attention to your headline but also bring cohesiveness to your profile.
  3. Avoid negative phrasing. Many singles I work with go through the trouble of joining an online service and then place a phrase like “Nice guys finish last” or “Any decent men left in the world?” at the very top of their profile. This immediately gives a poor impression to the rest of the daters out there. Bottom line is if you start off negative, no one will want to go out of their way to contact you.
  4. Steer clear of headlines that are already overused on the system. Take a look at other headlines and you’ll begin to notice certain phrases repeated over and over. Expressions to avoid include “Why not,” “Giving this a try,” and “Let’s get together.” Remember, with Internet dating you have a very short time to capture a potential date’s attention, so use that space to say something about you. Instead of a bland, “Nice girl,” how about “Scrabble diva,” “Flea market mama,” or even “Never miss a Jet’s game.”
  5. Think about the things you like to do. It’s the quirky, unique parts of us that make us interesting. So take your time and thoughtfully consider which words might sum up your personality or give a glimpse into your life. Headlines don’t necessarily have to describe you, they could instead act as a conversation starter. Do you enjoy going to restaurants? Do you partake in a certain hobby? For example, “Let’s Meet at Tucan Joe’s” or the “Come With Me To The Art Fair” are specific and will immediately attract people who enjoy those types of places and events.

Turning First Dates into Seconds: Paying Attention to Verbal and Nonverbal Dating Cues is Key

Your first date with Miss or Mr. Maybe is progressing nicely.

Inevitably, you find yourself wondering, what if he/she doesn’t pick up on the opportunity to ask for another date before this date ends?

Should this occur, consider yourself to be out with someone who:

  1. hasn’t decided yet whether to see you again or
  2. happens to be incredibly shy, requiring extra encouragement.

You can handle both situations perfectly by paying close attention to verbal and nonverbal cues.

Capitalize on the Moment

From the mid-point to the latter part of the date, this is where you get the chance to sincerely make an important impression on your date, simply by being alert to these cues and knowing how to turn them in your favor.

However, don’t attempt the following unless you sincerely want to see this individual again. What you are about to do will trigger tremendous confidence from your date. The worst thing you can do is mislead him or her into thinking you are interested when you honestly would prefer not to go out together again.

On the other hand, if you want to see this shy, reserved or seemingly undecided individual you are sharing a first date with again, here’s your chance to generate some definite interest.

As soon as you realize you are with someone who needs a helping hand with the whole dating scenario in general, lean forward in your chair and with the most disarming smile you can muster say, “Nothing lights my fire more than a date who is quiet and mysterious. You definitely have me intrigued. I would just love to get to know you better.”

There’s something about those words “you’re mysterious” and “I’m intrigued” that never fail to bring out the best in someone you’ve just met who has suddenly had their ego stroked in such a wonderfully unexpected way.

Once said, fall back in your chair and sigh something like, “Oh, what a gorgeous evening. I’m so glad we decided to sit out here on the terrace with our drinks to watch the sunset!” Or, “That movie really got me down deep. Did you notice how Angelina Jolie had tiny tears in her eyes when she told that guy, ‘Go, just go, I’ll be fine.’ I sure did.”

Inspiring Interest

It really doesn’t matter what you say as long as it’s a total shift in conversation. You just paid him or her a major compliment. Let it go at that. Your date will pick up on it and let you know if he/she is interested in also getting to know you better through more receptive body language or conversation.

And if you really want to get that date eating out of your hand, say something like, “Why is someone like you still available? I just don’t get it. I mean, look at you! Attractive, intelligent, so easy to be with. I’ll bet there are women (or men) crying all over the city tonight because I’m here with you and they aren’t.” Or words to that effect.

Unless he or she is completely oblivious, your date will naturally begin to relax and loosen up from such highly-paid compliments, inevitably opening up like a book to you.

If he/she doesn’t, that’s your cue to realize you won’t have an easy time getting close to this individual due to his/her own emotional/social issues.

Additionally, if you get no response or a negative one, consider it a reliable signal not to invest more time or energy in clearly a dead-end dating opportunity.

Summer Date Ideas: Hot Weather Brings New Romance

Summertime… and the living is easy…

Need some summer-ific ideas for your date? How about these:

Frisbee Golf

  • It’s all in the flick of the wrist. Demonstrate your Frisbee skills while you take in the fresh air.


  • Grab some bleacher seats and kick back with your new love while you take in a professional baseball game. Hotdogs never tasted better than at the ballpark.

Church Picnics and Outdoor Festivals

  • Many religious facilities have carnivals in summer. Grab a burger, play bingo, and go for a ride on the Ferris wheel. Win your date a stuffed animal at the game center.

Water Parks

  • You don’t have to be a kid to enjoy a water slide and a lazy river. Besides that, your date gets to check out that new swimsuit you just bought. Just be sure to wear sunscreen.

Outdoor Café

  • Many eateries move some tables outside during the warmer months. People watching is always better outside. Take in the summer air while you dine.

Camp It

  • Nothing is as romantic as a night under the stars. Make some smores for breakfast and hike all afternoon.

Summer Concerts

  • Many cities have outdoor music after work on weeknights. Pack a picnic lunch and some wine, and your romantic evening begins.

Outdoor Theater

  • Let the words of Shakespeare wow your date while you snuggle beneath the stars.

Go Fly a Kite

  • Engage in comfortable conversation while you both watch a kite float effortlessly on a string.

Visit the Zoo

  • Walk hand in hand while you view the animals in their natural setting. Many zoos also have special events during the summer, such as benefit walks and “taste of” days.

Hit the Beach

  • Summer plus sand plus water equals fun. Enough said.

Bike Ride

  • Athletic activities often help bond a couple together quicker. View the local trails and take in nature while you get your heart rate up.

Historic Tour Around Town

  • Many historical societies offer walking and bus tours during the summer. If you’re both from the same town, take a tour and you’ll have that much more to talk about after.


  • Forget the classic sandwich outing! You can make this date as casual or elegant as you want. Use cloth napkins, real silverware, and European foods, then choose a spot with a great view and lots of privacy.


  • Not every summer activity needs to be outside. The biggest blockbusters are often slated for summer release. Give your date a break from the hot air and enjoy the air-conditioned theater while you enjoy the show.

Boat rides

  • Grab a day cruise and you’ll be able to see your town in an entirely new way. There’s something about being out on the water that will make you and your date feel like you’re a world away – the perfect atmosphere for getting to know each other.

State fair

  • Eat some cream puffs, watch a pig race, and shop the gift bazaars while you walk hand-in-hand with your mate.

Flea market

  • Is there anything better than a flea market? No matter your preference, you and your date will have lots to talk about as you peruse the abundance of antiques and collectibles.

Factors Which Contribute To Internet Dating Success

The online dating success report which appeared in the “Crunch Time” section of the Times Magazine looked at the statistical likelihood of receiving contacts based on the profile photographs which singles chose to post. This was based on a survey undertaken by US dating site The dating service monitored the number of contacts and dating conversations which were generated in relation to their members’ profile pictures with rather interesting findings.

What the Internet Dating Survey Says About Singles

In general, a woman was found to be statistically likely to generate more new contacts if she:

  • Posted a MySpace style photograph
  • Chose a photograph which showed an “interesting” pursuit such as playing a musical instrument.
  • Posted a profile picture which showed cleavage.

Males were found to be more likely to increase their number of new contacts if they:

  • Chose a picture of themselves with an animal
  • Posted a photograph which exhibited their muscles

Factors Which Decreased Online Dating Success

For both sexes, those with a profile picture which showed the participant drinking had a reduced effect on the number of contacts received on average. Interestingly however, whilst men posing with animals were up to 50% more likely to increase their contacts, when women were pictured doing the same, this reduced their success rate by almost a quarter.

A similar incongruity was to be found in the reaction to photographs where the dater chose to use “eye contact”. Whilst this slightly increased the success rate for women daters, men who looked directly at the camera but did not smile, received fewer contacts.

For more information on how profile pictures worked for the members, see the fully detailed report from the data mining carried out which can be found on the OKCupid site blog.

Choosing a Dating Service

These dating statistics clearly suggest that photograph choice can affect dating performance but a carefully selected dating service may also hold the key to success. There are an overwhelming number of services out there so online daters need to think about the type of person they wish to meet and search for the site which is most likely to have these members.

There are lots of differentiated sites available – dedicated faith oriented dating services for example; if it is important to meet someone of the same ideological persuasion this might not be a bad place to start.

Online Dating Review Sites

There are a number of review websites available which enable research into a cross section of online dating services. This way, singles can find several possible sites which are most likely to meet their criteria. allows the user to search through categories such as “Award Winning Dating” or “Wealthy Singles Dating” and covers sites across Australia, Canada and the UK.

Once a potential dating service is found, it is advisable to find out as much as possible about the site before signing up. The UK based gives the following advice: “Always read the Privacy Policy, About Us page, and the FAQ page. Each of these will give you a good look into the philosophy of that service.”

Free Online Dating

Finally, whilst it may not be the key to dating success, how much singles wish to pay for their service needs to be a consideration; many online dating services offer individuals the opportunity to sign up for free but, to actually view contacts and start dating conversations, a member will more often than not have to pay a fee. Thus when viewing potential sites, online daters should make themselves fully conversant with all the financial aspects of the service prior to signing up.

Convenience, Security and Selection When Using Internet Dating Sites

For those unsure of online dating, the negative aspects such as honesty and cost prevent them from exploring this method of introduction and meeting new singles. Internet dating can be an easy and fun way to interact with new people and even find someone special. Here are a few of the “pros” of online dating.

Log On Anytime

Today, most daters have an extremely busy schedule. So it should come as no surprise that many of them prefer the flexibility that online dating provides. Singles can come home from a long day at work or night out on the town with friends and log on to see their matches and emails of interest. They don’t need to put the rest of their life on hold just to meet new people.

Double Blind Email System

Daters don’t have to give out their real name, last name, email address, or any other personal information with the double blind email system most Internet dating sites provide. This means that singles can log on, send emails, and get to know someone new without jeopardizing their own personal safety. Daters can take their time in revealing information about themselves, which makes the process of getting to know each other easier and more comfortable.

Coffee Dates for First Meetings

The first time singles meet a new date, it can be so nerve wracking they may not be showing their best self. But with the invention of coffee dating, singles can agree to meet someone for an hour in a relatively safe environment. Singles can arrange for the end of that first meeting in advance, which eliminates the awkwardness of telling a date it’s time to leave.

Wide Selection of Singles

Internet dating dies are flooded with so many different types of people that singles are sure to meet at least a few people of interest. A large cross-section of people are represented so even those individuals with the pickiest of tastes are able to connect with someone. Moreover, singles are likely to meet someone new that they live or work by, but for whatever reason was just never able to meet in person.

Blocking Bothersome or Creepy People

Like any form of dating, there are bound to be one or two people that bother or creep out their dates. Anytime singles meet new people, they are putting themselves in a vulnerable position. To help put singles at ease, many dating sites offer the ability to block a profile. If someone makes the single feel uncomfortable for any reason, they can prevent the person from contacting them or viewing their profile.

Relatively Inexpensive Way to Meet New People

In many cases, Internet dating is just a few dollars a month for a membership. By contrast, other singles activities, like going out to bars, hiking, taking a class, or even hiring a matchmaker, can be much more costly. Many sites offer specials for three or six-month packages, making it easy and cheap to meet someone new.

People today tend to hear the more negative points of online dating which sometimes overshadow the positive points. Negativity seems to catch the attention of the news media and therefore it gets more attention. But the points in this article should offer proof to singles still unsure about online that it is an easy and safe way to meet someone special.

First Date Conversation Topics

When two people are busy getting to know each other on a first or second date, the biggest mistake they can make is allowing the conversation to drift into deep controversial waters too soon.

For instance, is a first date the right environment for a heated discussion on such topics as politics, sex or religion? No – unless both of you are diehard social activists who simply can’t resist the opportunity to passionately spar about these issues over sushi and sake because it just plain sets your hair on fire.

Should you open up so much that you start spilling the ugly details about your last relationship or why you had to bail yourself out of jail because he or she lied and had you arrested during the breakup? Definitely not.

Is it permissible to drink to such excess that you start babbling about your family’s dysfunction or you admit that you’ve done some time on the psychiatrist’s couch trying to overcome serious bouts of depression? No and that’s a big emphatic NO.

Relationships Take Time

Consider that the relationship initiated by that first or second date is still so new and so fragile that it realistically can’t handle more than light conversational chitchat and a subtle flirtatiousness over dinner, a movie or a couple of drinks after a Knicks game.

The best advice is, take things s-l-o-w. Focus on less complicated subjects; for instance, where the two of you live, what you like, what you do. Comment on your surroundings during the date – how fun it was to slog through the rain to get from the parking lot to the restaurant, why you enjoy a good piano bar – all the while steering clear of weighty controversial subjects.

Once the two of you have had the chance to get to know each other better, there will be plenty of time to discuss the intricacies of your personal lives and backgrounds, the contrasts between your political leanings or why you disagree on such controversial subjects as abortion.

Less is More Initially

A first date is designed to help you get to know each other on a comfortable level. It’s important to focus on keeping the conversation light, casual and fun. Save the heavy stuff for later.

Moments for deeper discussion and disclosure about your lives will naturally present themselves. For instance, once the two of you have advanced to the point where you have four or five dates behind you, casual talk, like trying to decide whether to go out for breakfast or a late-morning brunch after watching the sun rise while snuggled up in a blanket on the beach together, may lead to more serious topics.

What you share about yourself after the two of you are that comfortable will not only be more interesting but that much more meaningful in terms of this new relationship you are developing together in the long run.

© 2017 dragonix