Your first date with Miss or Mr. Maybe is progressing nicely.
Inevitably, you find yourself wondering, what if he/she doesn’t pick up on the opportunity to ask for another date before this date ends?
Should this occur, consider yourself to be out with someone who:
- hasn’t decided yet whether to see you again or
- happens to be incredibly shy, requiring extra encouragement.
You can handle both situations perfectly by paying close attention to verbal and nonverbal cues.
Capitalize on the Moment
From the mid-point to the latter part of the date, this is where you get the chance to sincerely make an important impression on your date, simply by being alert to these cues and knowing how to turn them in your favor.
However, don’t attempt the following unless you sincerely want to see this individual again. What you are about to do will trigger tremendous confidence from your date. The worst thing you can do is mislead him or her into thinking you are interested when you honestly would prefer not to go out together again.
On the other hand, if you want to see this shy, reserved or seemingly undecided individual you are sharing a first date with again, here’s your chance to generate some definite interest.
As soon as you realize you are with someone who needs a helping hand with the whole dating scenario in general, lean forward in your chair and with the most disarming smile you can muster say, “Nothing lights my fire more than a date who is quiet and mysterious. You definitely have me intrigued. I would just love to get to know you better.”
There’s something about those words “you’re mysterious” and “I’m intrigued” that never fail to bring out the best in someone you’ve just met who has suddenly had their ego stroked in such a wonderfully unexpected way.
Once said, fall back in your chair and sigh something like, “Oh, what a gorgeous evening. I’m so glad we decided to sit out here on the terrace with our drinks to watch the sunset!” Or, “That movie really got me down deep. Did you notice how Angelina Jolie had tiny tears in her eyes when she told that guy, ‘Go, just go, I’ll be fine.’ I sure did.”
It really doesn’t matter what you say as long as it’s a total shift in conversation. You just paid him or her a major compliment. Let it go at that. Your date will pick up on it and let you know if he/she is interested in also getting to know you better through more receptive body language or conversation.
And if you really want to get that date eating out of your hand, say something like, “Why is someone like you still available? I just don’t get it. I mean, look at you! Attractive, intelligent, so easy to be with. I’ll bet there are women (or men) crying all over the city tonight because I’m here with you and they aren’t.” Or words to that effect.
Unless he or she is completely oblivious, your date will naturally begin to relax and loosen up from such highly-paid compliments, inevitably opening up like a book to you.
If he/she doesn’t, that’s your cue to realize you won’t have an easy time getting close to this individual due to his/her own emotional/social issues.
Additionally, if you get no response or a negative one, consider it a reliable signal not to invest more time or energy in clearly a dead-end dating opportunity.